INFJs can't be narcissists, not even by their dark side. It's the other way round: the Narcissists want to be INFJs. But the core of each is very different and no "masks" can be worn for ever.
Yes... Sometimes it feels like I'm getting lost in it, like I'm losing myself, but in the end the opposite happens :-). Maybe it's another way (the hard way) to find myself...we are not supposed to suffer once we understand who we are, so if I'm drowning in overthinking believing that I'm eg a narcissist, then I know that I'm not because only what's true about me gives me peace. Hope it makes sense.
I don't know if I am INFJ or not. I am introverted, introspective, and sensitive though.
But besides that. I have come across some on the internet claiming that scapegoats can become narcissists and I find that to be the greatest insult.
Sensitive scapegoated beings are the total opposite of the proud and callous narcissist.
And I understand what you are saying regarding empathy. Narcissists have a cold empathy, a cranial knowledge of what empathy is but don't actually possess such qualities.
As everything else with a narcissist their knowledge and understanding of deep topics is very shallow at best. They are total frauds.
"It's like me saying because my dad was an alcoholic that I have to be one too."
No. It does not have to be that way.
There are reasons why your dad chose to become an alcoholic. In a way alcoholism is self-medication. Yes, it doesn't work and backfires... nevertheless it often is the only option people see for coping with their problems.
And an alcoholic dad passes some of his trauma on the next generation and so on. Until one breaks the cycle.
So it is not about the alcoholism but the trauma behind it. Often trauma lines have their origin in wars... just to give an idea.
I get what you are saying. You are a lot nicer than I am.
In all honesty with the kind of childhood I had I should be a drug addict and an alcoholic so why aren't I one then?
I think a big part that saved me is my faith but other than that why didn't I overdose or kill myself by now? I haven't had an easy life and that is an understatement.
I'm not trying to be purposely rude here but I am a bit hardnosed when it comes to things like this.
I think at a young age I decided that I never wanted to be like my dad.
And I understand that people become addicts to numb themselves from pain but again there has to be some accountability too.
I wish I could fix the world but I can't. I try to help but a lot of times people misunderstand me.
The thing is that I was very angry about my family and how they treated me. Guess such a reaction is very normal. A bit like an open wound when you touch it.
But the wound can heal... and then you become less sensitive and can sorta find peace. Of course scars always remain and they sometimes can be itchy..
You can heal your wounds. Be gentle with yourself and give it time.
I still am angry. I don't think I'll ever not be angry at the injustice.
I think it might get better when my mom dies but she is 91 and still kicking. I think she has a prolonged contract with the Devil. I can't prove this of course but it would seem like it. Still evil as ever and still going.
INFJs can't be narcissists, not even by their dark side. It's the other way round: the Narcissists want to be INFJs. But the core of each is very different and no "masks" can be worn for ever.
Yes, they can't be. Yet they could believe they are. Overthinking sometimes can go wild.
Yes... Sometimes it feels like I'm getting lost in it, like I'm losing myself, but in the end the opposite happens :-). Maybe it's another way (the hard way) to find myself...we are not supposed to suffer once we understand who we are, so if I'm drowning in overthinking believing that I'm eg a narcissist, then I know that I'm not because only what's true about me gives me peace. Hope it makes sense.
Yes makes sense. Every overly self-critical person knows 😅
🙂😂
I don't know if I am INFJ or not. I am introverted, introspective, and sensitive though.
But besides that. I have come across some on the internet claiming that scapegoats can become narcissists and I find that to be the greatest insult.
Sensitive scapegoated beings are the total opposite of the proud and callous narcissist.
And I understand what you are saying regarding empathy. Narcissists have a cold empathy, a cranial knowledge of what empathy is but don't actually possess such qualities.
As everything else with a narcissist their knowledge and understanding of deep topics is very shallow at best. They are total frauds.
I guess I mostly got your point.
Might be interesting for you to dive into generational trauma cycles. Can help to make sense of your story and those around you.
I struggled for a long time. Getting some understanding of the overall picture brought me peace.
I understand about the generational trauma cycles but I don't totally buy into it.
It's like me saying because my dad was an alcoholic that I have to be one too.
Styles of relating do get passed down from generation to generation but it just takes one person to say enough and to make a change.
Everyone has to be accountable for their own choices eventually.
"It's like me saying because my dad was an alcoholic that I have to be one too."
No. It does not have to be that way.
There are reasons why your dad chose to become an alcoholic. In a way alcoholism is self-medication. Yes, it doesn't work and backfires... nevertheless it often is the only option people see for coping with their problems.
And an alcoholic dad passes some of his trauma on the next generation and so on. Until one breaks the cycle.
So it is not about the alcoholism but the trauma behind it. Often trauma lines have their origin in wars... just to give an idea.
I get what you are saying. You are a lot nicer than I am.
In all honesty with the kind of childhood I had I should be a drug addict and an alcoholic so why aren't I one then?
I think a big part that saved me is my faith but other than that why didn't I overdose or kill myself by now? I haven't had an easy life and that is an understatement.
I'm not trying to be purposely rude here but I am a bit hardnosed when it comes to things like this.
I think at a young age I decided that I never wanted to be like my dad.
And I understand that people become addicts to numb themselves from pain but again there has to be some accountability too.
I wish I could fix the world but I can't. I try to help but a lot of times people misunderstand me.
Maybe I am nice...
The thing is that I was very angry about my family and how they treated me. Guess such a reaction is very normal. A bit like an open wound when you touch it.
But the wound can heal... and then you become less sensitive and can sorta find peace. Of course scars always remain and they sometimes can be itchy..
You can heal your wounds. Be gentle with yourself and give it time.
I still am angry. I don't think I'll ever not be angry at the injustice.
I think it might get better when my mom dies but she is 91 and still kicking. I think she has a prolonged contract with the Devil. I can't prove this of course but it would seem like it. Still evil as ever and still going.
I need to stay away from them for my own good.
Oh this is fascinating! Thanks for sharing this personality test as it can relate to narcissists. 💙
Well narcissists want to feel special, and a self-test gives them quite some room for that.
And room to manipulate the best as they please. It can provide a label with status of sorts.
Im an infj but sometimes i feel like im a narc too😜
Happened to me, too. I thought that maybe I am more like "them" than I was aware of.